Back on the Farm

Per the New York Times: “People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals said today that it would sue the KFC Corporation in Los Angeles on Monday as part of the group’s six-month boycott to seek an improvement in the way 700 million chickens are raised and slaughtered every year for the fast-food giant.”

Some will see in this story another symptom of America’s disheartening tendency to resolve problems through litigation.

Litigators, however, will instantly see another angle. Assuming the lawsuit goes anywhere, there is going to a battle of the chicken-slaughtering experts. Someone, that is, will have to testify knowledgeably about how to kill a chicken in humane fashion.

This thought is enough to make a trial lawyer peer nervously at his rollodex. Where can you find a chicken-slaughtering guy? A cursory web search does reveal niches in the division of labor where people seem to have the chicken-killing process down to a veritable science. But as any litigator can tell you, finding someone from that world who can testify persuasively and who knows the evidentiary game — someone experienced with the perils of Rule 26(a)(2)(B) and Kumho Tire — may still be an arduous labor.

Are you listening, PETA? We’ll save you some trouble. There’s nothing at expertpages.com under “poultry.